Is there such a thing as horse personalities? Oh, yes! As any horse owner will testify to. Among the staff at Malgré Tout Media's office, for example, we have a horse who loves to snatch the whip from his mother or push her in the back when she is getting in her boots. And then we have one who insists on having to roll uphill and eat grass while lying down. But all horses have peculiarities that help make them exactly who they are.
In a post on Facebook, we asked Malgré Tout Media's danish readers what is the absolute strangest thing their horses do. Inspired by all the answers, we have put together eight funny and loving horse personalities. Of course they should all be taken with a grain of salt, because as we all know, you cannot transfer human behavioral patterns to horses. But it is fun to imagine. Can you find one that fits your horse?
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There is always one or more troublemakers to be found in the stable. They know their tricks, both when it comes to their riders and the other horses! The scam maker horse is the one who cannot only figure out how to tear his own blanket apart, but also all the others´. It can steal carrots from the neighbor and takes every opportunity to escape when it can sense any kind of hard work coming along. Maybe it can even figure out how to open its stall door or the entrance to the paddacok! And then it is really good at diverting its rider's attention - by making all kinds of funny things for example, with its mouth. Of course, this happens both in the stable corridor and in the riding arena. You have long since discovered that your horse is a true performer.
Some horses seem to only do fun things out of pure love. The cuddly horse loves to show affecttion, but just as much - if not more - to be cuddled itself! A favorite thing is to take some kind of nap in its rider´s lap. Picture that! When it gets ready to cuddle others, it aims not only for the other horses. It also loves to have fun with its people and all the other animals in the stable. If your cat or dog comes to you with a little loving horse drool over the back, then you know that you have a real cuddle cutie horse in the stable!
Some horses naturally have a little more respect for the world around them than others. And then there are the horses who are just terrified. These are the horses who are afraid of their own shadow. They have not yet quite understood that the neighbor's fieldstone is not an animal lying in wait.
Who has not experienced a horse that loves to play diva or nonchalant towards the other horses? But in reality is the opposite? When it really counts, and a harmless sewer cover has to be crossed when passing the bike lane on the way out for a ride, then the self confidence is suddenly not that big. Deep down, this horse is the biggest scary pants, and you have it figured out!
And then there is the horse that can best be compared to a sticker. It sticks so close to you all the time - not because it's cuddly, but because it's uncommonly curious! Its muzzle gets into everything. And it follows both you and the other horses as if it were a dog who had been told to do exactly that. In its attempts to make contact, you often get a muzzle in front of your face or directly on your smartphone. You might think that the sticker horse is just cute and a little annoying - but the other horses seem to feel a bit different. In the field, the sticker horse loves to keep up with everybody. And it does not matter whether some of the others are just getting some water. Everything they do is simply just so exciting!
There are also horses who do things that you simply cannot explain. It is not because they are scared, loving, curious or looking for trouble. They're just weird - and really funny! "Why is he doing that?" You ask yourself, when the horse, for example, inexplicably plays with his tongue and makes strange faces. Or when it consistently uses its haynet as a pillow in the box. And even stranger is the horse who loves to rub his private parts along the bottom of the indoor riding arena when he is let loose. Time and time again you wonder about your horse's quirks. But they also help to make it that very special character that you love so much!
One should also not forget the kind of horse personalities who believe that all unnecessary movements and actions are a waste of effort. The horse we would call the sloth loves to lie down or stand still and nap. And not just in the field or the stall. Even when you sit on it, it takes advantage of any situation to relax. "Come over here for a minute," your teacher might say to you in a training session. After which you ride towards her. You talk for a short while. And to your great surprise you find out that your horse has almost fallen asleep, when you get ready to resume the training. No doubt about it the sloth favorite quote must be "Better big and lazy than small and awake".
"Do you have anything in your pockets?" is the first thing a real feed loving horse seems to think when you approach it. It is all about what can be eaten. When you take the horse out of the stall, it always tries to bring just a bit of hay with it. When you take the halter off to put the bridle on, it sets a direct course towards the sack of carrots at the end of the stable aisle.
And when you finally get in the saddle, the grass next to the riding arena is so exciting that you suspect your arms have grown 20 cm longer when you are done. On the way back to the stable the horse grabs on every leaf from the trees on the way. And when it's going out in the field or into the stall, your pockets will be checked one last time. "Imagine if that treat means I live two minutes longer!", it seems to think. Food is simply what makes the world go around for this type of horse among the many horse personalities.
Everything has to be speedy and there is never any time to waste. This is how it is for the sprinter, whose owner often has to live with the fact that the horse can virtually not stand still or make a halt for more than a brief second. On the other hand, its immense go-ahead also makes it extremely teachable and brave. Maybe even a little too much on certain occasions. In any case - you often have to tell it that on jumping course it is not all about getting through quickly, but also about keeping the pilot on its back. The sprinter is thus both mentally and physically faster than both his owner and all his horse friends. "Come on, let us get moving!" is the very clear philosophy in his life.
We hope that this little insight into funny horse personalities gave you a chance to think about which one might fit your horse. Maybe we missed some - if so, you can have a great talk about it in the stable.
And again we would like to stress that this should all be taken with a grain of salt, because as we all know, you cannot transfer human behavioral patterns to horses. But it is fun to imagine.