It probably hasn't escaped your notice that Malgré Tout has previously written about why you should and shouldn't be the partner of a horse girl. But what is it like when you are in a relationship with a horse girl? To find out, we teamed up with the men here at Malgré Tout. They know better than anyone what it's like to be a partner with a horse-crazy woman - or man. Everything written here should be understood as a tribute to all the horse-loving partners out there - women as well as men - who have learned to live with the quirks of a horse fanatic. Let's just face it: We're probably not always the easiest to deal with on this earth.
This is probably every horse girl's most used phrase. An hour later, she's still not home. So, you decide to drive out to the stable to see where she is. You find her with a haynet in hand, standing next to a stable door, chatting with the new stablemate. "Well, I just had to welcome them." From now on, you know to add an hour to every time she gives you. It's annoying, but that's how it is - you know it. That’s the game.
You hear this sentence from a horse girl on good days. When you're really unlucky, she asks if she can wait until the next morning, when she has to stop by the stable before work anyway. She of course promises to take a "trucker's shower" before you both go to bed. But no. Here, you put your foot down and ask her to find the shower before the bed. It's enough that you have to sit at the table with the smell of her horse. Yes, it's okay for you to object sometimes.
... are the words you hear every time a horse girl tries to excuse herself for coming home later than agreed. It also happens when she tries to convince you that the training budget needs to be increased or that the 2000 kr. blanket is necessary. And no, you really don't understand! But you've also realized that you never will, and therefore you have just come to terms with it. In return, you have something on her when you go out and buy the new PlayStation 5. Isn't it said that give and take is needed in a good relationship?
When your horse girl partner asks you this, you're put in the biggest dilemma: If you don't go, she gets disappointed and thinks you're not interested in her hobby. If you do, she expects you to come next time, and the next time, and the next time. Until one day she buys you a horse and tells everyone in the stable that "Yes, he's really taken to the horses!". You really don't want to get into that scenario. Better to have the discussion about why you don't want to go.
... is the sentence you hear every time you and your partner invite someone home or have to pick someone up in the car. Because she's right: EVERYTHING smells of horse. You've gradually learned to live with it, but you might think it's not so great when friends have to be invited to the stable version 2.0.
You need to take a deep breath when you hear that sentence. Because yes, of course, you can swing by the horse on the way home. It should not be said that you don't think it's important. But the chores at home (not to mention the football match later) also have a right to exist on this earth. That's what you think - but you would never dare say it out loud.
On one of the days when your horse girl partner manages to get you to come to the stable, you can't get away with sitting in the car. No, no; you have to work, buddy! The horse won't groom itself, the saddle won't jump on its back by itself, and the droppings in the box won't fly to the heavens on their own. You're always put to work, and the argument is always that "then we'll get home quicker." And you do want to get home, so why resist?
You know well enough that you should never consider putting yourself and your horse girl's everything against each other. Because you also know - after your girlfriend has warned you more times than can be counted on one hand - that she would choose the horse any time. The thought provokes you so much that you often wanted to try. But no, the horse comes with the package, and you know it. And your girlfriend loves you for it!