Menu
Being a horse owner doesn't automatically mean being extremely brave. Perhaps you're not one to fearlessly gallop across a stubble field, jump the highest obstacles, or brave competitions. Maybe you enjoy your horse's company in a different way, and there's nothing wrong with that, right? Yet, it's not something most people openly discuss – feeling insecure around horses.
Kathrine Dybdahl is one of those horse girls who openly writes about feelings of insecurity, inadequacy, and the fear of losing control around horses in her blog. Despite spending countless hours with horses throughout her life, providing her with tranquility, grounding, and social connections with other horse people, the underlying unease always lurked. Kathrine was never a bold rider; even as a young girl, she had a profound respect for horses
"I remember the other girls going on wild gallops in nature, jumping high obstacles, or riding without a saddle, but I didn't dare," Kathrine recalls.
Nevertheless, horses meant so much to Kathrine. Even though she didn't dare do the same things as the other girls, she found solace, peace, and presence with the horses.
Read also: 6 Training Tips: Teach Your Horse to Be Relaxed and Stay in Walk
Despite experiencing this fearfulness, Kathrine didn't talk about it or acknowledge it to herself. It was only after owning several horses and selling the last one as an adult that she realized how uneasy and fearful she had been in handling her own horses.
Looking back, she understands why her horse didn't always come running to meet her at the farm.
"I totally get why my horse sometimes didn't want to be fetched from the pasture, seeing the stressed woman coming to ride," she shares.
Back then, Kathrine didn't face her fears and instead put on rational glasses.
"I concluded that my horse was giving me the cold shoulder and didn't want me as its owner. I was so hard on myself for years, years in which I never felt comfortable. Initially, I envied those horse people who had a unique connection with their horses. Why couldn't I find it? What's wrong with me? Maybe my horse and I weren't the right match?"
Kathrine has chosen not to own a horse right now but instead focuses on working with them professionally. She gains plenty of horse contact through this and can really feel that by letting go of the old stress and fear, she can now create an extraordinary connection with her clients' horses.
Kathrine finds that horse owners fear different things. Some fear going for a ride, others grooming or saddling up, some fetching the horse from the pasture, others cleaning hooves. Whatever it is, according to Kathrine, it's neither insignificant nor unserious. It's impactful. It creates stress in our systems.
"The amygdala, our small fear center in the brain that controls our flight, fight, and freeze instincts, goes into overdrive. In my case, I could trigger the amygdala response just by thinking that I should go for a ride tomorrow, as it had been a while. My entire body would go into flight response. At that time, I was so caught up in my head that I didn't register all the signals my body was sending. Heart palpitations, sweating, shallow breathing, and stiff mechanical movements. My head was full," Kathrine remembers.
"We are drawn to horses for many different reasons such as presence, understanding, grounding, and social reasons. Unfortunately, fear can diminish this connection because thoughts take over," says Kathrine.
Read also: 9 signs to look out for: When is your horse getting old?
However, Kathrine believes your fear doesn't have to hinder your time with your horse. You don't need to feel sick to your stomach or force yourself into activities with your horse while your heart pounds. Instead, you should work with your subconscious, as according to Kathrine, this is often where the fear resides.
"For me, it didn't start when I became an adult. It started even before I became a horse girl, with a fundamental insecurity in myself, which transferred to the horses," Kathrine believes.
Kathrine emphasizes the importance of confronting these deep-seated fears. By acknowledging and working through them, it's possible to transform your relationship with horses. This involves recognizing and accepting your feelings, rather than suppressing or ignoring them.
"It's about being honest with yourself and understanding that it's okay to feel fear. It's a natural response, but it doesn't have to define your entire experience with horses," Kathrine advises.
Kathrine's journey illustrates that there is no single right way to enjoy and interact with horses. It's about finding what works for you, what makes you feel safe and connected. This might be different from the conventional expectations or what others are doing, but it's just as valid.
"Each person's relationship with horses is unique. It's about discovering what brings you joy and comfort, whether that's riding, grooming, or simply being in the presence of these magnificent animals," she concludes.
By sharing her experience, Kathrine hopes to encourage others to embrace their own path with horses, free from the constraints of fear and societal expectations. Her story is a reminder that the essence of horsemanship lies in the bond and understanding between horse and human, not in daring feats or competitive success.
