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I actually find that riders are better at sensing their horses than they often realize. Unfortunately, many times we just don't listen to our instincts, and therefore, we don't listen to our horses. We're limited by old beliefs about how things SHOULD be and how they SHOULD be done.
READ ALSO: Did you know that the connective tissue could be the origin of your horse's pain?
I am the lucky breeder and rider of Nightingale. He is the son of my first horse, Natacha. He's the spitting image of her—beautiful and intelligent. I mentioned this to my father one day, and he replied, "Fortunately, Nightingale isn't as temperamental as Natacha."
The truth is, however, that I didn't treat Natacha as well or as respectfully back then as I do with Nightingale today. I have always loved my horses, but I was influenced by the sport and the established way of doing things. I pushed her right from the start of her days as a riding horse. It wasn't something I did consciously. Today, I can see that it was due to a lack of better knowledge.
If I had pushed him the way I pushed her, he would have been called "temperamental" too. What it was really about was that Natacha was a misunderstood, pressured, and stressed horse.
If you’d asked me back then, I would have said I was taking things slowly. That’s what I was taught to do. A 6-year-old horse should be able to work at a medium level if it’s been “properly educated for its age" - at least, according to the standards we humans have set for horses in equestrian sports.
Natacha became a broodmare—not because she lacked talent as a riding horse, but because, honestly, she was worn out at too young an age. Could I have been a better rider? Absolutely! Could I have been a better horse owner? Without a doubt!
I can't change the past, but I can change today. That's why I'm not in a hurry with Nightingale—not even slowly. I’m taking my time and simply enjoying the journey. I’ve promised Natacha to take better care of Nightingale, so he can have a long and happy life. That comes before anything else. And I’ve promised myself that I’ll continue to grow and reflect, so that in ten years, I can look back on today and think, “Wow, I had so much to learn.
I've been teaching almost as long as I've been riding. Years ago, I witnessed a rider whose horse, towards the end of the lesson, stopped in front of the gate. The rider said, "It always does that when it's getting tired and doesn't want to continue." Despite this, before I knew it, the horse was met with a kick in the side and a flick of the whip. The horse, you see, had to understand that it couldn't do that.
I've also witnessed a rider whose horse was restless in the mouth and putting its tongue over the bit. The rider said, "She always does this when she's under pressure." Yet, the rider continued with the same pressure, because the horse had to get used to it.
These are just two examples of many that I've witnessed in various settings, where the rider had actually sensed that the horse was tired and stressed but ignored it anyway. They had learned that the horse had no say. They had learned that the horse was testing them!
"But should I just let my horse stop at the gate without my permission?" or "Shouldn't I be training my horse?" you might ask.
You need to learn to stop before your horse becomes so tired that it has to say stop. How else is it supposed to tell you it's tired? And yes, you can definitely train your horse, but slow down and find the pace where your horse trains with joy, not stress. Horses aren't testing us. They're trying to tell us something.
Allowing horses to say no doesn't mean there are no boundaries. Of course, I can also say no to my horses, just like we do to each other as humans.
It simply means I don't force or punish my horses when they indicate they've had enough during training. A clear refusal might look like the horse kicking out, stopping, pulling on the reins, or refusing to go forward. Instead of punishing them, I'm curious. I want to understand why they're reacting this way. What are they trying to communicate? What do they need? One thing's for sure: horses don't lie or deceive.
It has actually been, and still is, an unlearning process for me to avoid simply reinforcing the aids, as we have been taught, when I encounter challenges. I love dressage, but I want to combine it with a love for horses. So when Nightingale, as a young and relatively newly backed horse, suddenly stopped after a few rounds of canter, we just stood there. I put my legs on him. He stood still. I used the whip on his hindquarters. I used my voice. He still just stood there. For a moment, I considered reinforcing the aid, but no, I had promised myself that I would no longer ride that way. There had to be a better way. There must have been a reason why he stopped and wouldn't go.
The short story is, he simply showed me that he needed to stop to take a deep breath, as he had been holding his breath while cantering. So I started riding even shorter repetitions and taking even more breaks. I even let him stop (show me when he needed to stop) as much as he wanted!
"But you can't just let the horse stop—what then when it has to go to a competition?" My clear stance is—we should only compete with a horse that is physically and mentally ready for it. Period. So, he clearly wasn't! That's the short version, but it quickly stopped being an issue once he got the right help and training, and I'm proud of the way I've trained him.
READ ALSO: Harmonious horse training
If the above resonates with you, you're very welcome to follow me on my social media platforms, Instagram and Facebook, as well as visit my website, camillaborregaard.dk.
My name is Camilla Borregaard (b. 1990).
I have been involved in equestrian sports my entire life, both as an ambitious competitive rider when I was younger, as a dressage judge and instructor, alongside studying law and participating in politics. Since 2008, together with my parents, I've been running our own place, Stald Borregaard, near Hadsten, north of Aarhus. For many years, I've been deeply focused on daily training, the relationship with the horses, and the interaction with people. That's why I've also trained in animal telepathy, Human Design, and as a Clearing Master™.
I've always felt a special connection with horses and seen each horse as an individual. Over the years, with my many experiences, it's become clear to me that horses are as diverse as humans and that there isn't one true path. Instead, I'm curious about getting better at understanding each horse and the interaction with each person.
I want to inspire, create reflection, and increase awareness among riders for a deeper relationship with their horses. I've created Min Hestedagbog as a tool for just that.
