Professional Care Horsemanship
Trainer of Young Horses: Training Should Never Be an Assault
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Many of us have unfortunately experienced it: the sorrow of losing a horse. Whether it was sudden or expected, whether the horse was young or old, small or large, whether it was your own or someone else's, it is immensely tough.
There are many things that are hard when losing a horse. Here at Malgré Tout, we have compiled the eight things we find the most difficult.
There isn't always a decision to be made, but if there is, it is hard, even though you know it is the best for the horse. The thought of "what if a miracle happens" will often linger in the back of your mind. It is important to follow the veterinarian's advice in such a situation.
This is a truly difficult process that needs to happen fairly quickly, and for many, it can seem overwhelming, especially if you haven't experienced it before. Depending on whether the horse is at home in a stable or at the veterinarian's, you also need to decide how to dispose of the horse. Perhaps it needs to be cremated or picked up by Daka, but it can be challenging to come to terms with this early in the process.
If you're up for it, it can be a good idea to gather something like a tail, forelock, or shoes if the horse had them on, even though it may be tough at the moment. If you're prepared for the horse to be euthanized, it can be advantageous to have the farrier remove the shoes before the euthanasia and clip some locks of mane, tail, or forelock yourself. There are different companies that specialize in creating memorable items, keychains, and jewelry from mane, tail, forelock, and shoes. It can be a good way to remember your horse, and you can keep or carry those items with you.
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It can be difficult to be reminded of the loss of your horse, and Facebook, in particular, can be a source of memories, especially if you have posted pictures of your horse. In addition to Facebook's automatic memory sharing, it can also be challenging to be reminded by people who often just want to support you through the difficult time. It may also be that you feel the need to honor the lost horse with a post or a photo collage on Facebook, and that can be tough to do. Seeing pictures of your deceased horse can be really hard.
It's not urgent, but at some point, you'll need to go through the equipment you had for your horse. What do you want to keep as a memento? What can you use for other horses in the future, and what should be sold? It's not an easy selection process, but sometimes it can help provide clarity if you're having trouble moving forward.
It can be difficult to talk about for a long time after losing a horse. And sometimes you may feel like you have to cross your own boundaries to answer questions about your deceased horse. Thankfully, you don't have to, and it's okay, for example, to say, "I don't feel like talking about it right now." You may also encounter people who find it hard to empathize with the situation of losing a horse and how difficult it can be. Remember that only you can feel how it truly feels, and you don't need to justify anything to others.
Read also: 5 alternative ways to cool your horse down in the summer heat
Whether it's shortly after or a long time after, it can be difficult to get back in the saddle and ride a new horse. Memories and emotions about the old horse can resurface, and it may often feel like everything was better with the old horse. It's completely natural to remember all the good times, and thankfully for that, it should remain that way. But don't compare your new horse to your old one, and don't expect the same. You and your old horse had a long time to bond and get to know each other. Give the new horse a chance and realize that it won't be able to provide the same, but something different. And that can be really important too.
They can occupy your mind for a long time after losing a horse—actually, for several years—and there's nothing wrong with that. Thinking about it can make you sad, but don't be afraid to delve into those thoughts and feelings that come with grief. If you have a trusted person, maybe someone who also knew the horse, talking about the difficult aspects can be helpful. Remember, it's okay to feel sad, even long after your horse has been euthanized.
