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When this article was to be written, I had to ask my boyfriend nicely to participate. He recently went right down the rabbid whole, when he met me.
He started dating a horse girl, and now there seemed to be no way out. My boyfriend, therefore, had to endure my thorough cross-examination on why, men should stay clear of women who have horses. This article is written for all the boys and men who are still in the dating market, and who may - or may not - know how a horse girl can be.
So let me explain to you once and for all, why you, men should be bowing around us. Because there are reasons. Exactly 10 good reasons:
No, we actually spend most of our income on our four-legged bestie! First of all, a horse is not cheap to buy. We like to spend a lot of time and money on finding the right one, and in most cases, we end up with a horse that costs far more than we had budgeted. But the use of money doesn’t stop here. Every month, we happily pay for expensive housing, training, shooing, equipment (including what we don’t actually need), feeding and veterinarian costs. Most of us, too, spend money on going to shows to return to the stable with a rosette that has no financial value. And then comes all the other unforeseen expenses that are not included in the budget. We all know those ones, right?
Don't think you end up first place as our beloved partner in crime. That space is occupied and you can't change that ranking. Our horse is our one and only, and we are ready to let go of everything and hurry to the stable to check if our little gold nugget is okay. That date friday night? You may as well forget about it. I’m spending my Friday night with my horse!
So it's not just Friday night you have to do without us. We like to spend all the time we can get our hands on with our significant other (no, the horse off course!). And two hours in reality only feels like 15 minutes in horse land. We even get up very early to pull on our breaches and go to the stable you even think about waking up. We just have to make sure the horse has slept well! How did you sleep, my beautiful little one? No – I wasn’t asking you, Sir!
Did I make it sound like you're coming in second over those closest to my heart? Wrong! After our horse comes our trainer off course - the one who may seem a little tight when you meet him at first. And the second time. In fact, you may always feel that slightly awkward feeling around our trainer. Get used to it. Our veterinarian is also high on the list, but he or she can probably look compassionately at you when you are woken in the middle of the night because the horse is sick.
If you want to spend time with us, you must join us at the stable. And before you know it, a broom is suddenly placed in your hand and you find yourself sweeping the floors all the while we ride around the arena, receiving lessons from our beloved trainer.
Piaff? Half pass? How to walk a course? Yeah, if you have no idea what I'm talking about, I really understand. We have many concepts that can be difficult to comprehend when you are not familiar with the equestrian world. You should therefore listen carefully if you are to understand just a little bit, when your girlfriend speaks "horse" with her friends.
Despite the weight, we can make the horse do almost anything for us, and we are far from afraid, even if our best friend is taller than we are. It also means that you might want to consider not arguing with us.
Get ready to spend all weekends during the summer at equestrian events around the country. Suddenly, you get to see most of the country's riding clubs, and learn how to braid rose buds, brush boots and even remove small hairs on your girlfriend's black bow jacket. Have you been in the military? Believe me, the discipline of a horse girl makes a sergeant look like a 10-year-old boy scout.
If we look to the future and fast forward to where you and your girlfriend have children, well, then get ready to end up with a couple of kids who also have been bidden by “the horse bug”. Have you heard of the term ‘pony parent’? You might be in danger of becoming one. Suddenly, it is not only your girlfriend's paddock you are mucking out, but also the ones belonging to your son or daughter's little pony. If you marry a horse girl, the never ending poop scoop circle has begun.
So let me put it this way: Do you end up falling for a horse girl anyway? Well, good luck! Let's jump to the tenth and final reason, which is the main reason you look past all of the above:
Despite saying that you don't understand why a horse girl do what she does, your vision changes over time. Suddenly you think it's cool to drive to the stable, because you know it makes your girlfriend happy. You may even feel that the horse has become your friend and you ask how it went on last weekend’s event. If you fall for a horse girl, there is no going back. And that is the 10th and final reason: You'll end up thinking it's all fun - even if you might not quite admit it.
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